Crazy Random Happenstance

indigowallbreaker: bluesocksandfluff: taylortut: spider-man-stan: taylortut: taylortut: peter...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 20:15:19 -0400

bluesocksandfluff:

taylortut:

spider-man-stan:

taylortut:

taylortut:

peter retaliating against “baby monitor protocol” by changing the names of Tony’s Iron Man protocols

“hey FRIDAY, zoom in on that building over there”

“Old Man Bifocals protocol activated, Boss”

“what the fuck did you just say to me”

“FRIDAY alert the team that my thrusters are down and i can’t fly”

“sure thing, activating I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up Protocol”

“PETER WE TALKED ABOUT THIS”

Tony: FRIDAY, open these encrypted files we don’t have a lot of time-

FRIDAY: activating the Fr E Sh A Voca Do protocol

Tony, sobbing: PETER WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DOES THIS MEAN

AMAZING

-Peter gets hurt in a battle-

FRIDAY: Bone Hurting Juice Protocol has been activated - Mr. Parker is in distress.

Tony: -stops- He’s what? The what?

Peter: -over the com- Oof, ouch… my bones…

Tony: FRIDAY! Engage autopilot!

FRIDAY: Activating Jesus Take The Wheel protocol.

Tony: Really, Pete?

peanut1287: lolawashere: lolawashere: And we all need a drink...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 16:30:16 -0400

peanut1287:

lolawashere:

lolawashere:

And we all need a drink right now, don’t we?

Just hand me the whole damn bottle!

One of my favourite Tumblr posts, ever.

froginakettle: fanfiction writers be like

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 12:45:18 -0400

froginakettle:

fanfiction writers be like

quietdoppelganger: elloette: When your hair is wavy/curly sometimes there is a fine line...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:15:28 -0400

quietdoppelganger:

elloette:

When your hair is wavy/curly sometimes there is a fine line between “messy romantic waves” and “evil witch who lives in the woods.”

@cephalopodvictorious

stars-the-final-frontier: butchimzadi: tea, earl grey, thot This post snuck up behind me with the...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 16:30:23 -0400

stars-the-final-frontier:

butchimzadi:

tea, earl grey, thot

This post snuck up behind me with the familiar footsteps of someone I know and love and then hit me across the back of the head with a chair while my guard was down

Photo

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 12:45:24 -0400

argumate: penfairy: some oddly specific advice from Hesiod...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 20:15:26 -0400

argumate:

penfairy:

some oddly specific advice from Hesiod (c700 BC)

which thicc girl hurt you (and stole your grain)

Photo

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 16:30:24 -0400

lucentgallivanter: me: i love you but please, please do not step on my keyboard. go a foot out of...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 12:45:25 -0400

lucentgallivanter:

me: i love you but please, please do not step on my keyboard. go a foot out of your way and go around

my lovable yet ungrateful cat, a troublegirl and a fiend: you could sooner divert a river from its course than deny my nature

penny-anna: sainatsukino: linguisticparadox: audreycritter: whetstonefires: whetstonefires: ti...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 12:16:06 -0400

penny-anna:

sainatsukino:

linguisticparadox:

audreycritter:

whetstonefires:

whetstonefires:

tiny-smol-beastie:

reformedkingsmanagent:

wizard-guff:

storywonker:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

~*~earlier~*~

Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits

Merry: Frodo what’d he say

Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish

Merry: I mean you could do that but consider

Merry: you can only tell him ONCE

Frodo: Merry. You’re absolutely right. I’ll wait.

#legolas’ hick accent vs #frodo’s ‘i learned it out of a book’ accent #FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible

Aragorn: *hollering from a distance* HIS ACCENT IS BETTER THAN YOURS LEGOLAS YOU SILVAN HICK

Frodo: :)

Frodo: Hello. My name is Frodo. I am a Hobbit. How are you?

Legolas: y’alld’ve’ff’ve

Frodo, crying: please I can’t understand what you’r saying

Ok, but Frodo didn’t just learn out of a book. He learned like… Chaucerian Elvish. So actually:

Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions.

Legolas: Wots that mate? ‘Ere, you avin’ a giggle? Fookin’ ‘obbits, I sware.

Aragorn: *laughing too hard to walk*

@ghostriderofthearagon

dYinGggGggg…

i mean, honestly it’s amazing the Elves had as many languages and dialects as they did, considering Galadriel (for example) is over seven thousand years old.

english would probably have changed less since Chaucer’s time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things.

they’ve had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max. frodo’s books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the dialect represented in them isn’t likely to be older than the Second Age, wherein Aragorn’s foster-father Elrond started out as a very young adult and grew into himself, and Legolas’ father was born.

so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we can’t really tell because there weren’t years to count, before the Trees were destroyed.

plus a lot of Bilbo’s materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didn’t establish Imladris until after the Last Alliance. and Elrond isn’t the type to intentionally help Bilbo learn the wrong dialect and sound sillier than can be helped, even if everyone was humoring him more than a little.

so Frodo might sound hilariously formal for conversational use (though considering how most Elves use Westron he’s probably safe there) and kind of old-fashioned, but he’s not in any danger of being incomprehensible, because elves live on such a ridiculous timescale.

to over-analyse this awesome and hilarious post even more, legolas’ grandfather was from linguistically stubborn Doriath and their family is actually from a somewhat different, higher-status ethnic background than their subjects.

so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old-fashioned speaking tics in his Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriathrin-influenced Western Sindarin that became the most widely spoken Sindarin long before he was born, or he might have a School Voice from having been taught how to Speak Proper and then lapse into really obscure colloquial Avari dialect when he’s being casual. or both!

considering legolas’ moderately complicated political position, i expect he can code-switch.

…it’s also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didn’t learn as a kid.

which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and they’re just standing there on the beach reduced to miming about what is the short beard person, and who are you, and why.

this is elvish dialects and tolkien, okay. there’s a lot of canon material! he actually initially developed the history of middle-earth specifically to ground the linguistic development of the various Elvish languages!

Legolas: Alas, verily would I have dispatched thine enemy posthaste, but y’all’d’ve pitched a feckin’ fit.

Aragorn: *eyelid twitching*

Frodo: *frantically scribbling* Hang on which language are you even speaking right now

Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish?

Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit?

Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbits’ weird dialect this whole time: That’s what it sounds like to me.

Merry, who actually knows some shit about Hobbit background: We are actually speaking multiple variants of the Shire dialect of Westron, you ignorant fuck.

Sam, a mere working-class country boy: Honestly y'all could be talkin Dwarvish half the time for all I know.

Pippin, entering Gondor and speaking to the castle steward: hey yo my man

Boromir, from beyond the grave: j e s u s

Literally canon

dikubutto: val-ritz: so i was talking to my grandmother about old-school video games and she was...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 20:15:18 -0400

dikubutto:

val-ritz:

so i was talking to my grandmother about old-school video games and she was all

“y'know there was one game i used to play, and it had like a maze, and it was underground, and there was a guy in first person and he had a weapon”

so knowing her penchant for puzzle games, i started guessing like myst, or legend of grimrock

so we start hunting through these 90’s-era games featuring dungeon crawls.

turns out. it was not a puzzle game. it was nothing close to a puzzle game. apparently, in the mid-90s, my grandmother would sit down and play fucking Wolfenstein 3D and listen to AC/DC for like hours on end.

Au contraire, the puzzle was “how to kill Nazis” and the answer was “use gun”

peterismymans:no one can top this handsome, muscular man

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 16:30:15 -0400

peterismymans:

no one can top this handsome, muscular man

Norse mythology in a nutshell

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 12:45:18 -0400

snackiies:

Loki: Wow, it sure would suck if someone decided to do the thing, huh?

Everyone else: Pretty much.

Loki: I mean, it would really fuck shit up.

Everyone else: Basically.

Loki: Can you even imagine what would happen if someone actually did the thing? Like, wow. Everything on fire. People screaming and shit. Absolute carnage. Thor in tears. Freyja on a rampage. Odin crying into his eye patch. Just imagine.

Everyone else: That’s essentially the situation.

Loki: Thank Asgard that no-one has taken it upon themselves to do the thing. I, for one, am gracious that the thing has not been undertaken yet. May it remain this way for literally hours to come.

Everyone else: You’ve done the thing, haven’t you?

Loki: I am agog. I am aghast. How could you insinuate that I, Loki, the Trickster god, would have done the thing? This is an outrage. I won’t stand for it. I demand a lawyer and also a horse.

Everyone else: There’s a note here that says ‘I totally did the thing, you bunch of jerkwads, ha-ha-ha I tricked you so good, signed Loki xxx’

Loki: … in hindsight, I may, in fact, have done the thing. But it was just a little joke. A little chuckle amongst friends. Tomfoolery. Japes. A tiny trick.

Everyone else: The world is literally ending because you did the thing.

Loki: Oh my Æsir, fine, I’ll fix it. Fuck, why do I have to fix everything around here? Trickster god? Might as well call myself the Fixter god. Also my son is a wolf.

lunchbot1: That one time the Decepticons were stopped by a...

Fri, 22 Jun 2018 20:15:19 -0400

lunchbot1:

That one time the Decepticons were stopped by a donkey

imagine-assembling-the-avengers: explodingcrenelation: Princess...

Fri, 22 Jun 2018 16:30:18 -0400

imagine-assembling-the-avengers:

explodingcrenelation:

Princess Bride + Infinity War — 1 / 2
(Just gonna quietly file this under real life Infinity War reactions…)

Can we take a moment to appreciate that there’s a Cap action figure behind him tho?

rincewitch:there’s so much going on here

Fri, 22 Jun 2018 12:45:20 -0400

rincewitch:

there’s so much going on here

armieggedon: antikevinfeige: a weak fool: no one would fuck the hulk thor: LEST WE FORGET

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 20:15:17 -0400

armieggedon:

antikevinfeige:

a weak fool: no one would fuck the hulk

thor:

LEST WE FORGET

tarmahartley: kuboe: I can’t stop making these stupid comics...

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 16:30:14 -0400

tarmahartley:

kuboe:

I can’t stop making these stupid comics (insp)

@studiokawaii

tastefullyoffensive:by Hannah Hillam

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 12:45:43 -0400

tastefullyoffensive:

by Hannah Hillam

parentheticalaside: Time has an interactive feature to discover what your name would be if you were...

Wed, 20 Jun 2018 20:15:37 -0400

parentheticalaside:

Time has an interactive feature to discover what your name would be if you were born today, based on popularity of your birth year vs. now.

My name would be Mylah. With all apologies to anyone named Mylah, I am now very happy to be named not Mylah.